I will not apologize just because I haven't written anything here in a long time. There was a good reason for that, possibly still is. I was interacting with people. For a couple of years now, it feels like people are attracted to my weirdness. I always thought I gave off waves of calmness and happiness-some sort of a silent acceptance towards a specific type of people- which acted like a magnet. You see, I am the kind of man somebody learns quickly how to love-like,depend upon, or even sympathize with but may not be fond of in the first place.This hasn't always been a good thing for me, so recently I have been trying to switch my magnet off. It's almost as if I want to scare people away for fear they might like me. Are you still with me? You deserve this post then.
Sure enough, I am a happy person. I follow my self established dogma religiously and seldom stray far from it. This has led me to a balanced life, with just enough ingredients to make it spicy. I have my convictions which dictate my -often absolute- thoughts and judgement. I am decisive, honest and almost never offend people. I have turned my hobby into a profession and enjoy every moment I work.I am passionate and give a 100% at everything I do. People appreciate these things because they are rare, I get it. That said, there are some consequences.
Try to imagine some people walking in a desert, when suddenly they spot an oasis. It is only logical they are going to rush to it, to quench their thirst, right? That's what happens with me. I feel like people see in me some virtues they would love to have (but don't) and they try to be part of the life of your's truly. And while this may not be bad per se, it does disturb the water in the oasis. Think about it; Once you are no longer thirsty, (or realize the oasis was just a hallucination) you will want to continue your journey, or find the next stop.Or maybe you are just on an excursion and now ready to go back to base (yes I am looking at you, you know who you are). But you have left your footprints on the sand, and you were so thirsty that you drank half of the water in the pond. And you left without having given anything back, so the poor oasis feels betrayed, disturbed and used. In fact, the oasis feels so sad and bitter that decides to poison the water so that the next one who drinks from it becomes sick (or dies for all I care). Yes, I am that good.
I think you get the picture. The previous paragraph kind of describes my past relationships. Or at least how they ended. Sure enough, there was a good basis and they were precious to me, but I can't help but feel disappointed when all is said and done. I'll skip further details. The point is, I am not so sure I learned my lesson. And it's already time for my next test.
Sometimes I wish people came with an instruction manual. Sometimes I don't want to mess up and tread carefully within a relationship. This is one of these times. She comes with a mirror, but it looks partly broken. Her footsteps echo in the sand and I can only hope she's here to stay. She also looks thirsty, but carries a half-empty water pouch. There's someone with her but oblivious to my presence.
I think she's looking for something beautiful but she doubts she will find anything in this desert. Oh man! Can't wait till she sees this rose here. Let's just hope she doesn't prick her finger when she tries to pick it up, for she is already bleeding.
Sure enough, I am a happy person. I follow my self established dogma religiously and seldom stray far from it. This has led me to a balanced life, with just enough ingredients to make it spicy. I have my convictions which dictate my -often absolute- thoughts and judgement. I am decisive, honest and almost never offend people. I have turned my hobby into a profession and enjoy every moment I work.I am passionate and give a 100% at everything I do. People appreciate these things because they are rare, I get it. That said, there are some consequences.
Try to imagine some people walking in a desert, when suddenly they spot an oasis. It is only logical they are going to rush to it, to quench their thirst, right? That's what happens with me. I feel like people see in me some virtues they would love to have (but don't) and they try to be part of the life of your's truly. And while this may not be bad per se, it does disturb the water in the oasis. Think about it; Once you are no longer thirsty, (or realize the oasis was just a hallucination) you will want to continue your journey, or find the next stop.Or maybe you are just on an excursion and now ready to go back to base (yes I am looking at you, you know who you are). But you have left your footprints on the sand, and you were so thirsty that you drank half of the water in the pond. And you left without having given anything back, so the poor oasis feels betrayed, disturbed and used. In fact, the oasis feels so sad and bitter that decides to poison the water so that the next one who drinks from it becomes sick (or dies for all I care). Yes, I am that good.
I think you get the picture. The previous paragraph kind of describes my past relationships. Or at least how they ended. Sure enough, there was a good basis and they were precious to me, but I can't help but feel disappointed when all is said and done. I'll skip further details. The point is, I am not so sure I learned my lesson. And it's already time for my next test.
Sometimes I wish people came with an instruction manual. Sometimes I don't want to mess up and tread carefully within a relationship. This is one of these times. She comes with a mirror, but it looks partly broken. Her footsteps echo in the sand and I can only hope she's here to stay. She also looks thirsty, but carries a half-empty water pouch. There's someone with her but oblivious to my presence.
I think she's looking for something beautiful but she doubts she will find anything in this desert. Oh man! Can't wait till she sees this rose here. Let's just hope she doesn't prick her finger when she tries to pick it up, for she is already bleeding.
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